Thursday, January 26, 2012

2012 NHL All Star Draft

So, the draft is officially over. Teams have been picked, alliances have been made. We were disappointed that no trade was made.

And you know you want it...here are our thoughts on the draft.
(pictures taken from Google, Twitter, Tumblr and our television set)


- We need to get this out of the way: James Duthie, extreme DILF.

Such a beautiful human being.


- AND THE ROOKIES!!! You should know how we feel about the youngings. Especially everything about Landeskog's face.

Roooooooooooookies.


- In almost predictable fashion, there were cheers for Alfredsson and boos for Chara. We would have booed both of them because of reasons. Neither have a real good sense of humor and it was kind of boring to hear them talk. But that's nothing new.

We did like the assistants.


- Our favorite part of every All Star weekend is the chatting between players and the general schmoozing that goes on around the room. This time was no exception.
Carey Price was playing musical chairs and talking to everyone. Every commercial break he was in a different part of the greenroom.
Dennis Wideman.

Wait, what? We kid, we kid.
Evgeni Malkin was chatting with Jordan Eberle.
Jamie Benn was sitting awkwardly by himself.


- Carey Price stole the show though. He didn't know whether to spit or swallow when he was shockingly drafted by Team Chara.

And he was his usual goofball self when drafted.
"Think Z's going for offense or defense? And remember there's no defense in this."
You know how much we love PriceFaces


- They showed a clip of Matt Duchene mic'ed up and it made us miss him all over again. He's such a dork and we love him for it.


- We were very surprised that Pavel Datsyuk was taken first in the ASG Draft. He's an excellent player but he's not Swedish, not a Senator, not a Bruin and he's not Slovakian.

But we like the choice.


- Alfredsson picked Erik Karlsson.

"Spezza's pissed there. His black eye is getting even blacker."
Who knew the kid has a sense of humor? Makes us like him a little more now.


- Joffrey Lupul being sassy? More please.

"You guys don't like the Leafs, eh?"


- Best Dressed: the Marians.


STUDS.


- Quite possibly the worst dressed and/or thought that this was Halloween and dressed up as his alter ego Gator who is a pimp:

Dion Phaneuf.


- Also Marian Gaborik had the flub of the night.

He saw Henrik and Girardi and went senile for a moment.



- We want to apologize to the Letang fangirls in the world but the kid needs a haircut...NOW. He looks like a brunette Fabio.

Do not want.


- Phil Kessel.

Taking it like a champ.


- They should mic Jason Spezza up for everything.

He had some of the best lines:
"I bet Malkin $20 he would go before me."
"Goalie fraternity taking care of each other." about Lundqvist drafting Quick

"165lbs and he can fly, no one can catch him." about Karlsson

And this gem with Karlsson about the Sedins
[JS]"I wonder if him and his brother will have any chemistry in the game?"
[EK]"Doubtful."
[JS]"Doubtful."
[EK]"Aliens."
[JS]"They don't even have to talk and they know where to pass the puck to each other."
[EK]"They have a secret language inside their head."
[JS]"It's unfair." cue Spezza laugh.



- For some reason watching John Tavares and Jordan Eberle, two of Canada's heroes, bro it up brought tears to our eyes.

So perfect.


- Shea Weber and Ryan Suter. Broken up.

WE CAN'T STOP THE TEARS.

THE TEARS!


- The hug between Zdeno Chara and Tyler Seguin.....


We can't.


- Jimmy Howard's black sweater under his blazer? Is he taking fashion tips from the Swedes?

We aren't complaining, he looked sharp.


- The hug between Henrik Lundqvist and Dan Girardi was adorable.

We love how Henrik loves his teammates.


- Sorry but we're not sorry that John Tavares is a good-looking dude.

He has really grown into that face.


- We were disappointed that Jamie Benn was in the final four.

No, that is not okay. Not okay.


- Logan Couture was the last man standing. It's the teeth.

But at least he got the car. Even if it is a Honda.

We liked how Henrik and Alfredsson both hugged him when he sat down. It was a nice thing to do for a young kid. "I want two now."


- The End.




So, what team do you like the best? If you're like us then you're just cheering for individuals because both teams have good players and evil players.

We just want John Tavares to score five goals. And then James Neal to score five. And Jordan Eberle to come out of nowhere and score ten right on the doorstep when his team is down.

Ryan Suter and Shea Weber will just stare longingly at each other from across the ice surface because it's too much seeing the other on another side.

But Carey Price will steal the show by not giving a shit and pretending to make saves when he's really just drunk in the net.


Uh, well, what do you think will happen? Did you like the picks? Let us know!

7 comments:

alixjpearce said...

Just wanted to say amazing effing blog. I laughed my ass off. God damn Ebs and Tavares bromance is amazing. Not so amazing - Lupul's cardigan over the low v-neck shirt on Media day. Cute guy, but seriously not a good choice - and you KNOW he took 2 hours to pick that outfit...

Esbee said...

CLOAD's ensemble was amazing. I would say outfit but guys get all weird when you say "outfit." I was disappointed when he had to put the sweater over his shirt.

I was shocked at Datsyuk going first!

Jason Spezza is my new obsession. He is hilarious. And adorable. Mic him up 24/7.

The booing from the crowd got on my damned nerves. We GET IT. You hate the Leafs! Put a sock in it! Someone on twitter asked if the crowd for the draft was from the Maury show. Seriously. I didn't like the format with them in the "lounge". I want all the guys up front like they did it last year.

Now the rest of the world gets to experience our Canes rookie extraordinaire Justin Faulk. Part of me wants to keep him to ourselves! That's Faulker on the left of that pic with Gaborik looking at him like "What the hell?!"

Dan Girardi. I can't breathe. Sorry. I need a minute.

Jennifer said...

I agree with everything here except calling for Tanger to get a haircut. Me likey--so shiny! He needs a little more body, though.

I am very VERY distressed that I'm getting....my god I can barely even say it...getting charmed by....oh god....gulp....Scott Hartnell. *rolling up into a fetal ball* He's...funny...and down to....no I can't say it...down to earth. UGH.

SILKWOOD SHOWER!!!!

I am also adoring the Spezza. I want him to be my friend.

Noodles and Henrik said...

@alixjpearce:
We were thinking the same thing about Lupul. You know he took hours picking out that 'ensemble' for Media day. Maybe even got input from a Swede...

@Jennifer:
We condone guilty pleasures and players that you shouldn't like but can't help it but SCOTT HARTNELL?! HARTNELL?! Are you kidding us???

Yes, you deserve a Silkwood shower of the worst kind with steel wool brushes. That's a man we could never say 'yes' to.

Jennifer said...

NOT LIKE THAT!!!! NOT IN A SEXY WAY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

No I mean in a 'wow maybe you're not a horrendous ogre of a human being' way.

OH DEAR JEEBUS GOD PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU THOUGHT IN A SEXY WAY!!!!!!

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Esbee said...

@Jenn CORRECT! In a "you MIGHT have a good personality" way. NO SEXY! NO! NO! NO! I stand by my wish to dump red wine on his white couches while I am playing ping pong with CLOAD in his townhouse. But I do NOT want to run my fingers through that hair. *SHIVER*

NO SEXY. The word SEX and Hartnell should never be used in the same sentence.